Learn Rugby in easy steps

rugby |?r?gbi| (also rugby football) noun
a team game played with an oval ball that may be kicked, carried, and passed from hand to hand. Points are scored by grounding the ball behind the opponents’ goal line (thereby scoring a try.
As you might have gathered i was at the Rugby Safari Sevens ‘08 that were on at the RFUEA Grounds this past Sunday. I did have lots of fun and surprised myself to find that i watched a sport for a whole entire day and by the finals between E. Bocks and Kenya [where Kenya trounced the heck out of the poor sods] i was on my feet cheering away much to the consternation of my friends who had accompanied me and had never seen me that enthusiastic about anything!
I assure you that you will not learn a thing about Rugby here since like you, i know absolutely nothing about it further than a burly fellas, who are quite nimble footed and surprisingly sprightly, running towards a top [bar - that word again] less goal posts holding an oddly shaped leather, air filled thingimajig, is a good thing, and it is actually part of the objective of the game.
When they get to the opposite end of the field, to register a score, they are supposed to hop as high into the air as humanely possible and attempt, with mixed results, to make the most painful contact with the ground as they undertake to replace the vegetation on that end of the field with the oddly shaped thingimajig. Passing a ball by lobbing stead of kicking forward is frowned upon. I play basketball, i find that strange since kicking the odd shape in a particular direction is harder than it looks.
Once this is achieved, they proceed to attempt to kick the oddly shaped thing which i shall call a ball, loosely termed of course since i did not make any close encounters with it to ascertain its consistency, its all hearsay at this time, through the posts at the end of the field, their angle of approach being directly correspondent to where you shoved the ball through the turf, this time on your lonesome as the rest of your teammates are already at the centre dee with a second ball kicking off. This i am told is called a conversion. I consulted my dictionary and i still do not see the relationship.
The opposing team, aside from attempting these tries attempt to stop them by charging into them, tripping over, on occasion they will grab impromptu rides on the opposing teams players shoulders, neck head, legs and sundry body parts and grab at clothing, at times ripping it to shreds, and surprisingly this is all entirely encouraged.
I was witness to body slams, fellows weighing in at over one hundred kilos swung like yesterday’s laundry over shoulders or just basically tripped and ngetwad [grabbed and held by the neck, a manoeuvre best achieved from the back]. Piles of players were a rather common occurrence too. I cringed at what that would do to the poor sod at the bottom of it who at the moment between fighting for air and hanging onto the ball he had is hands quite full and would be unable to throw off his opponents.
Oh, one more thing, they still give out cards, red or yellow, in this game, i thought the rougher you are the better you are at it? It indeed is a strange game. In an effort to better understand it, i may return next year to do it all over again, this time hopefully with a “longer” camera to bring you the action right to the point where you can see the untrimmed nose hairs of the players and their five o’clock shadows to their soiled and creased kit.
In other news:

The Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga made an appearance mid afternoon to a standing ovation evidenced by the arms waving about in my frame.
Sideshows are still present in considerable abundance at the games. The scenery is not at all unpleasant to behold either, our nation is greatly blessed with very very very good looking lasses and lads who were dressed to kill, cold weather notwithstanding!
| move bitch | ludacris |
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June 26th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
do you get paid to do this? coz if you don’t, then you should…
June 26th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
I see Raul missed quite a bit! Next time he’ll definitely make an appearance!
June 26th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Test from opera mini
June 26th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Nah, for me rugby will always be a hunting ground/arena.
I don’t even know the first thing about the sport. Well, unless having fit lovers and players counts as a fact.
But ajawise, hi Three?
June 26th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Rugby… never been to any game….maybe i should make a point….what with such nice scenery,….lol
June 26th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
thanks @cb
see one of the photos. its was a dedication to RRRRRRRRRaul. @egm
yes i can see you @3
hai bear. kisses girlfriend! mwuah! @cheri
you should attend! @xs
June 27th, 2008 at 8:22 am
hmmm… CB is right…
i know a little bit about the game and he plays it so have to make an effort to be supportive… the guys have nyammy bodies… all so big and all so hard…
hi 3…
June 27th, 2008 at 8:44 am
huh sy? big and hard?
rugby yay!
June 27th, 2008 at 11:30 am
sybella, i did not check their consistency, they might have pounded me to a veritable pulp for such chicanery!
June 27th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Rugby is a beautiful sport.
Best way to check out my boyfie’s bum and legs without making him too vain.
June 27th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
rugby is a great game! and evens is one place where kenyans excel. The whole experience is just great
June 27th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
“…When they get to the opposite end of the field, to register a score, they are supposed to hop as high into the air as humanely possibly and attempt, with mixed results, to make the most painful contact with the ground as they undertake to replace the vegetation on that end of the field with the oddly shaped thingimajig…”
Dude….pass whatever it is you’re ssmoking!! Hahahahahahaha!!!
June 28th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
lets go kenya, lets go…….
At least with Rugby even if you don’t understand the game the sideshows will still leave you enthralled and there is Beer(try selling that at a soccer stadium trust me the results would be chaotic)
June 29th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
u r terribly good…. that is me enviously complementing you
June 30th, 2008 at 9:06 am
yeah well, i too knew very little about rugby, except for the scoring, which i called touchdown, from all those american football movies
plus i used to wonder, why is there no goalie? but the players are a sight to behold..
June 30th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
It seems I’m all out female! I also watch rugby to check out the guys.
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:50 am
This is one game that ive never attended and ive had every intention of. I dont care for rugby but those 6 packs and toned biceps damn!!
Sand Diego sevens was fun tho’